Hi, I wanted to start out with an exercise from the book:
1.) My favorite childhood toy was... I guess I had a lot of them. Sonic would probably be my first choice, but some others that I remember where the fake telephone booth at daycare (bright yellow and orange) that I would use to talk to people, including the president, hahaha, and those red scooters that were a seat with handles that you could wiggle back and forth to move fast.
2.) My favorite childhood game was... hide and seek. I was terrible at seeking, but awfully good at hiding, especially at night! I loved when we got to play in the woods or inside the church at night with all the lights off. <3
3.) The best movie I ever saw as a kid was... part of me wants to say DUH LION KING. But I had a couple other ones that were pretty influential: The Hugga Bunch Movie, My Little Pony, Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer, Gallavants, and the Neverending Story I & II.
4.) I don't do it much, but I enjoy... painting, with acrylics. Or just plain painting inside photoshop. I love it because I never make the size too big or too small like I do on paper! HA! :D I also like being outside in the forest with nature and wildlife.
5.) If I could lighten up a little, I would let myself... omg get a fun sex toy - just for me. :) I've always been so ashamed of them before, but they always brought a lot of good relaxation and release.
6.) If it weren't too late, I'd... attend Cal-Arts! or Les Gobelins! Maybe even just join an animation studio. I wish I could have been an employee for DiC before they tanked.
7.) My favorite musical instrument is .... I have three! The steel drums, the steel guitar, and the harpsichord. I'm also very fond of bagpipes! I know they're pretty crazy, but they have such rich, environmental sounds. I feel like I'm in another place when I hear them.
8.) The amount of money I spend on treating myself to entertainment each month... is at least $14 for Crunchyroll and Big Fish... other than that it's very sparingly. I also feel very guilty whenever I do try to spend money on just me. I got mad at myself for putting $200 into Fangamer, even though I love them and I want to support them and it would get me awesomeness stuff. :3 I probably need to let myself spend more on myself.
9.) If I weren't so stingy with my artist, I'd buy her... a new computer! With all the best graphics cards, so I can play Walking Dead and Mass Effect 3 without blurps and graphic corruption. I'd get a nice, big screen too! Not too big. Maybe even dual monitors! :D Yeah just one more and I can keep the one I have. That would be very useful.
10.) Taking time out for myself is... it always feels wrong and wasteful - that I should be doing something "productive" with my time. I want to take time out to relax though. I know I need to, to charge my batteries.
11.) I am afraid that if I start dreaming... I will want things that I can never have and it will make me more sad than I am now. I had being disappointed and having my dreams crash and explode into flames.
12.) I secretly enjoy reading... Sonic/Tails shipping fan-fiction. I feel like if anyone knew that I liked the idea of them in a homosexual relationship that people would either be A.) creeped out or B.) have no respect for me.
13.) If I had had a perfect childhood I'd have grown up to be... a super-hero. That's what I always wanted, to be like my favorite heroes on TV with super powers and a bunch of good friends, wise mentors and a loving family.
14.) If it didn't sound so crazy, I'd write or make... "Cruise of the Dead" a zombie movie/book about a bunch of people trying to escape the zombacalpyse by taking over a fully-stocked cruise ship and all the mayhem that goes on as people fight for resources and power.
15.) My parents think artists are... dreamers. Once in a good while they get lucky and make it or break it, but there's only stardom or failure. There's no middle ground. Either you become famous or you find something else to do.
16.) My God thinks artists are... his children, of whom he is very proud. They are his champions, his heroes, who are brave enough to show us ourselves and what we are like. They aren't afraid to show both the darkness and the light in everyone and make us rethink who we are.
17.) What makes me feel weird about this recovery... is not knowing whether or not it's actually going to help. I feel like I've already failed it before I have even started. I worry that even if I do succeed I'll just revert back to old habits as soon as this is done. I'm also worried about what people will think of me.
18.) Learning to trust myself is... probably not a good idea, but it's one that I think (or everyone tells me) that I should do. I guess I'm not comfortable with letting myself make choices. Somewhere deep down I feel like an immature, irresponsible person who isn't capable of making wise choices.
19.) My most cheer-me-up music is... probably Sonic music - although I'm a huge fan of Disney Princess Songs, certain country songs, deep evanescence love songs, anime music, video game music, and old stuff like care bears and rainbow brite. "Care-a-lot" by Carole King really sums it up.
20.) My favorite way to dress is... in halloween costumes! I love dressing up, especially if it is something fun like for the renaissance fair. I also love dressing up like a princess and wearing ball gowns. I love looking at the prom dresses and imagining what it would be like to look like that and have people admire me.
That's all I have time for today for my morning pages, but tomorrow I will have more time and I want to get to more exercises! So see you later! :D This was very revealing and helpful. I hope I can use this to learn something more about myself.
Later days,
- ME
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Monday, September 17, 2012
I'm baaaaack!
Hello Morning Pages, it's your favorite lady, Miss Joanie! I completely abandoned you last week, and I wish I could say that I hadn't. Either way, I'm writing it now so there. I guess part of it was that I was sick, so that was making it hard to do much of anything. Now that I'm feeling better, I'm going to try really hard this week to start doing a healthy routine, which includes an early bedtime, waking up early, morning pages (that's you!), leaving early to work, working out before work, and taking my laptop home if I want to work later so I don't get home at like 9:00, lol. We'll see what happens, but at least that's my goal. They always say it's better if you write it down, so maybe now that I've written it down, it will happen this week! I guess it's mainly about how I choose to do it. I've been pretty good so far, I really hope I can lay the foundation for healthiness this week. I should start off by saying I've been struggling with my faith, but I'm feeling more and more that God is out there and that he's steering me to something good. I guess I have to take it one day at a time. So many good things have come my way, including huge financial blessings, so thank you, God, for those things. I don't deserve any of them, but thank you, thank you! It's much appreciated. I want to do my best with them. Sorry I got a little overboard with spending, lol. Kickstarter is seriously my newest addiction - although I have to admit, I really like being able to help out the little guys. It's like FINALLY my giving is actually helping someone find their dreams. That's enabling others to be creative right? And Artist's Way says God loves when we're creative. I would assume that also stretches into helping others with their creative potential as well. Either way, good things are about, and I hope they continue.
I'm really interested in Dan from work. I guess you could call it a major crush, lol. It's just I've never met another SEGA fan who was so down-to-earth and willing to try new things/loves to create/likes people/gamer wooo! I absolutely have to be matched with a fellow gamer, although I have to amend that I'm not too keen on MMOs just because they tend to be a time sink. I guess you could say that about any game, but for those it feels especially true just because of how sand-box-y they are - basically you're never, ever done with the game. You either completely burn out (Joanie) or you take a break until the next update that interests you (seemingly everyone else). I like multiplayer aspects, but most of the time, I guess I like my games to be private experiences where I'm the star and driving everything forward. I like having a beginning, middle and end. For me the best games are the ones that come to an end and you're like "aww man I wish there was another level or two."
Anyway, I really hope that I'm not giving off any Amy Rose behavior to Dan, lol. I don't want to come across as a crazy girl -- although I suppose I am to some extent a crazy girl, hahaha! What I mean is I don't want to push him away because I'm like ZOMG BE MY BOYFRIEND FOREVERZ! I mean, I don't even know it will work out. I just enjoy talking to him though. I really want to ask him on a date, but I feel like I should let him do it. Part of me is like "Damn girl, jump on that wagon before someone else steals it!" XD Meaning that if I'm interested I should show it before someone else does. It's a fine line. I'm not even sure if he's interested in me. I always have a hard time knowing, mainly from lack of experience.
I'm really glad the situation with Patrick ended well. I don't know if I'll meet up with him again. Right now I don't have time to invest in another friendship since I have so many. I know I sound haughty but it's true. I have to choose my time wisely. That and he might end up being a creative sink because he's not doing well creatively right now and Artist's Way said to keep your distance from people like that while you're healing yourself. Not to say cut-off communication, but I think they meant don't talk shop with them, because all they will do is complain and/or bring you down with them, even if they don't mean to. Either way, I'm not obligated to respond anymore, so I'm hoping it will die off quietly. That's always the best, I've discovered.
I've been studying some BFG RPGs. Or I guess I should say RPGMaker VX games that are on Big Fish. I've learned a couple of important things, including one from Lisa: "Never have more than 8 words on the screen at a time." For me, it's not so much the number as it is the player's attention and their interest. When the game starts off you have to keep things short and sweet and have it feel like the player is driving the action and decisions. For me, that means a lot of dialogue choices. I really want to make the first hour engaging so much that you want to play some more. I think I want to end the golden hour with saving - omg I blanked on his name - Skyler! And he joins the party and you're off to the desert to find the floating island. I learned from Love's Epitaph that you absolutely have to put in safeguards so your player doesn't get stuck. I knew I had to go into the Thieves' Pub, but once I got in through the back, it was insane. Nothing there. Finally I had to look up a walkthrough and discovered you had to check a random box in the back. Solutions for this? Have them say something each time they enter when they haven't found the box yet. I think that would do it. Or a brief cutscene. Have everyone look around. Even interactive? The first is the quickest, the latters better to try in an early design stage. I'm going to go with Marcie's suggestion and have tons of things for you to pick up. OMG Dreamscape. That one had some doozies too. Especially figuring out where to go. Even the hard mode was a bit too hard. I gotta make sure if I put one in there, that I make sure they can level a bit before they take on the first thing, or something. That one made me pretty frustrated. Also, I loved collecting the balls for powerups - reminds me of Millennium too. It's a great idea and combines a bit of platforming. I think if you can snag a bit of platforming with puzzle-solving you've got the makings of a fun game. Remember the caves from KQ5? Something like that. It's different than the standard: "push the <heavy object> this way" puzzle. I bet I could come up with a few more too. Maybe a levers puzzle? Hahaha NO. I learned that from Caspian. A tile puzzle could be fun. Collect all the pieces and then rearrange them on the floor? It would require some heavy coding, but I bet Chaz could help me out with that. I just have to make sure to make them fun and rewarding. Like Lufia! MAN. I need to replay that one, seriously. I should put it on a list of things to buy on Virtual Console (WOOO KIRBY POINTS!). I think it would be good for me as a designer.
The major thing I need to do for it at the moment is to assess where I am and to come up with a plan of attack. I need to order all of the things I need to do and then make a task list for myself and give myself some finishing dates. I really want to take advantage of this winter again to work really hard on my game. I got a little bit off because of cons and sickness, but now that I'm back to normal, I'm really confident I will be able to start creating again soon! I'm already feeling the notion to create again. It's just a matter of making time to do it, which is hard now that my schedule is getting a bit tighter. I think I mainly need to give myself some space and focus on weekend work and little bits in-between. It's hard balancing RPG study and creation though.
Another thing I learned is the battle system. That has to be one of the fun points of the game, otherwise grinding and such will be a drag. Also, I'm going to try and avoid grinding, because honestly, it's boring and I don't like it, hahaha! I love the idea of Skyborn's gauntlet. That was a cool way to grind. Maybe I could have a mine or something? Either way, now I have lots of options, so if I want to work them in now, then now is the time for it.
Oh man! I totally need to have everyone get caught and then you escape as Kitty Crystal and have to get the keys!! That would be an awesome part. Everyone gets to have fun. I want to include Skyler and David in on the fun too. Especially David since he is my guy-in-distress. I want to have him play a vital role so you're like DAMN yeah I want him in my party, lol. Maybe you meet him in the forest when you are little?
Yeah I totally need to have the option to name everyone like Earthbound! Why the hell not? :3 I want to have an optional tutorial level that is backstory for Paige. It's Paige and her dad going hunting in the woods. Maybe they save the Prince or the Prince saves her from a GIANT BEAR. Hells yeah! Then dad comes in and kills it. WOO! Yes, I need to show the parents being awesome too. I gotta think more Hinawa and Flint. Gotta make them appealing. Maybe mom gives you special items? Delicious treats? Maybe Paige has rocky relationship with Mama and then has to go save Daddy? OMG I wish Mom could join the party, haha! Omg wouldn't that be awesome? Take that evil, that's my MOM! :D omg that is pretty cool. I dunno if I can work it into this one, since I have so many already, but I'll keep it in mind either way.
I need to fix up Crystal's storyline too. I gotta make her A.) Extremely cute, and B.) Extremely clumsy and accident prone. It's gotta show in when she's reluctant to visit her hometown (floating island) and when she's dealing with bad guys. But she's also gotta have a big OOPS moment that turns into awesomeness. <3 I'm really excited about her character. I'm still trying to figure out if I should have her transform at any time or just at certain times. I totally want to explore her hopping in Paige's backpack and her cute little head sticking out. Maybe they could combine moves for awesome attacks? :D That would be fun. THROW THE KITTY! MEOOOOOOW! D: She definitely needs to be very very cat-like. In that she is half-cat and likes cat things, like catnip and fish and such. She would do anything for a tasty fish! Which one is her favorite? We can make up a delicacy one XD hahaha! This is great. I'm really enjoying this. I should probably go though, but I think I've come up with a lot of things to consider for today. YAY! :D
Until next time!
- Me
I'm really interested in Dan from work. I guess you could call it a major crush, lol. It's just I've never met another SEGA fan who was so down-to-earth and willing to try new things/loves to create/likes people/gamer wooo! I absolutely have to be matched with a fellow gamer, although I have to amend that I'm not too keen on MMOs just because they tend to be a time sink. I guess you could say that about any game, but for those it feels especially true just because of how sand-box-y they are - basically you're never, ever done with the game. You either completely burn out (Joanie) or you take a break until the next update that interests you (seemingly everyone else). I like multiplayer aspects, but most of the time, I guess I like my games to be private experiences where I'm the star and driving everything forward. I like having a beginning, middle and end. For me the best games are the ones that come to an end and you're like "aww man I wish there was another level or two."
Anyway, I really hope that I'm not giving off any Amy Rose behavior to Dan, lol. I don't want to come across as a crazy girl -- although I suppose I am to some extent a crazy girl, hahaha! What I mean is I don't want to push him away because I'm like ZOMG BE MY BOYFRIEND FOREVERZ! I mean, I don't even know it will work out. I just enjoy talking to him though. I really want to ask him on a date, but I feel like I should let him do it. Part of me is like "Damn girl, jump on that wagon before someone else steals it!" XD Meaning that if I'm interested I should show it before someone else does. It's a fine line. I'm not even sure if he's interested in me. I always have a hard time knowing, mainly from lack of experience.
I'm really glad the situation with Patrick ended well. I don't know if I'll meet up with him again. Right now I don't have time to invest in another friendship since I have so many. I know I sound haughty but it's true. I have to choose my time wisely. That and he might end up being a creative sink because he's not doing well creatively right now and Artist's Way said to keep your distance from people like that while you're healing yourself. Not to say cut-off communication, but I think they meant don't talk shop with them, because all they will do is complain and/or bring you down with them, even if they don't mean to. Either way, I'm not obligated to respond anymore, so I'm hoping it will die off quietly. That's always the best, I've discovered.
I've been studying some BFG RPGs. Or I guess I should say RPGMaker VX games that are on Big Fish. I've learned a couple of important things, including one from Lisa: "Never have more than 8 words on the screen at a time." For me, it's not so much the number as it is the player's attention and their interest. When the game starts off you have to keep things short and sweet and have it feel like the player is driving the action and decisions. For me, that means a lot of dialogue choices. I really want to make the first hour engaging so much that you want to play some more. I think I want to end the golden hour with saving - omg I blanked on his name - Skyler! And he joins the party and you're off to the desert to find the floating island. I learned from Love's Epitaph that you absolutely have to put in safeguards so your player doesn't get stuck. I knew I had to go into the Thieves' Pub, but once I got in through the back, it was insane. Nothing there. Finally I had to look up a walkthrough and discovered you had to check a random box in the back. Solutions for this? Have them say something each time they enter when they haven't found the box yet. I think that would do it. Or a brief cutscene. Have everyone look around. Even interactive? The first is the quickest, the latters better to try in an early design stage. I'm going to go with Marcie's suggestion and have tons of things for you to pick up. OMG Dreamscape. That one had some doozies too. Especially figuring out where to go. Even the hard mode was a bit too hard. I gotta make sure if I put one in there, that I make sure they can level a bit before they take on the first thing, or something. That one made me pretty frustrated. Also, I loved collecting the balls for powerups - reminds me of Millennium too. It's a great idea and combines a bit of platforming. I think if you can snag a bit of platforming with puzzle-solving you've got the makings of a fun game. Remember the caves from KQ5? Something like that. It's different than the standard: "push the <heavy object> this way" puzzle. I bet I could come up with a few more too. Maybe a levers puzzle? Hahaha NO. I learned that from Caspian. A tile puzzle could be fun. Collect all the pieces and then rearrange them on the floor? It would require some heavy coding, but I bet Chaz could help me out with that. I just have to make sure to make them fun and rewarding. Like Lufia! MAN. I need to replay that one, seriously. I should put it on a list of things to buy on Virtual Console (WOOO KIRBY POINTS!). I think it would be good for me as a designer.
The major thing I need to do for it at the moment is to assess where I am and to come up with a plan of attack. I need to order all of the things I need to do and then make a task list for myself and give myself some finishing dates. I really want to take advantage of this winter again to work really hard on my game. I got a little bit off because of cons and sickness, but now that I'm back to normal, I'm really confident I will be able to start creating again soon! I'm already feeling the notion to create again. It's just a matter of making time to do it, which is hard now that my schedule is getting a bit tighter. I think I mainly need to give myself some space and focus on weekend work and little bits in-between. It's hard balancing RPG study and creation though.
Another thing I learned is the battle system. That has to be one of the fun points of the game, otherwise grinding and such will be a drag. Also, I'm going to try and avoid grinding, because honestly, it's boring and I don't like it, hahaha! I love the idea of Skyborn's gauntlet. That was a cool way to grind. Maybe I could have a mine or something? Either way, now I have lots of options, so if I want to work them in now, then now is the time for it.
Oh man! I totally need to have everyone get caught and then you escape as Kitty Crystal and have to get the keys!! That would be an awesome part. Everyone gets to have fun. I want to include Skyler and David in on the fun too. Especially David since he is my guy-in-distress. I want to have him play a vital role so you're like DAMN yeah I want him in my party, lol. Maybe you meet him in the forest when you are little?
Yeah I totally need to have the option to name everyone like Earthbound! Why the hell not? :3 I want to have an optional tutorial level that is backstory for Paige. It's Paige and her dad going hunting in the woods. Maybe they save the Prince or the Prince saves her from a GIANT BEAR. Hells yeah! Then dad comes in and kills it. WOO! Yes, I need to show the parents being awesome too. I gotta think more Hinawa and Flint. Gotta make them appealing. Maybe mom gives you special items? Delicious treats? Maybe Paige has rocky relationship with Mama and then has to go save Daddy? OMG I wish Mom could join the party, haha! Omg wouldn't that be awesome? Take that evil, that's my MOM! :D omg that is pretty cool. I dunno if I can work it into this one, since I have so many already, but I'll keep it in mind either way.
I need to fix up Crystal's storyline too. I gotta make her A.) Extremely cute, and B.) Extremely clumsy and accident prone. It's gotta show in when she's reluctant to visit her hometown (floating island) and when she's dealing with bad guys. But she's also gotta have a big OOPS moment that turns into awesomeness. <3 I'm really excited about her character. I'm still trying to figure out if I should have her transform at any time or just at certain times. I totally want to explore her hopping in Paige's backpack and her cute little head sticking out. Maybe they could combine moves for awesome attacks? :D That would be fun. THROW THE KITTY! MEOOOOOOW! D: She definitely needs to be very very cat-like. In that she is half-cat and likes cat things, like catnip and fish and such. She would do anything for a tasty fish! Which one is her favorite? We can make up a delicacy one XD hahaha! This is great. I'm really enjoying this. I should probably go though, but I think I've come up with a lot of things to consider for today. YAY! :D
Until next time!
- Me
Monday, September 10, 2012
Phlegm-flamming!
*cough* *hack* * phlegm* Yuck, yuck, yuck! Guess who's still fighting off a cold? It's me! I'm really hope I'm nearing the tail end of this. I want to get back into my regular routine and start exercising again. This weekend I was feeling even more yuck, but for some reason I pulled myself out of bed rest and hung out with friends, including Patrick from OKCupid. I guess the date went okay, but I'm so infatuated with the idea of going out with Dan, that I'm actively trying to think up reasons why it's not working out. Blergh. I mean, you seriously can't beat a guy that loves Sonic Games. It is a huge part of who I am. But I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Either way... I also had Tori and Jonathan over yesterday. I met them at Everfree Northwest (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Convention). I ran into a bit of scheduling trouble because writing JAMS was at 7, but I didn't anticipate them coming so late in the day - partly just because we didn't email back and forth quick enough, and then we started a Mouse Guard RPG (actual pen and paper one) and that took a bit longer than I thought it would, lol. Plus we ate some dinner, cheese pizza and tomato soup from Safeway. I did manage to drag in for a bit and report myself to JAMS. I have to admit, I'm feeling really guilty about it because I've missed so many lately. It's not that I don't care, it's just that things keep getting in the way. At least I've been able to keep up with my morning pages.
And I also went on my Artist Date on Friday. I went to the Dollar Tree near Grocery Outlet and Petsmart. I bought: an inflatable dinosaur (diplodocus), a crystal growing kit, a sheet of beach stickers, one of those wooden peg solitaire games that I love from Cracker Barrel (EG-NAH-RAY-MOOSE!), and an adorable crow with black feather accents (he was in the Halloween section, hahaha!). Overall I had a lot of fun, and I basically let little Joanie go crazy. I tried to get things that I had an immediate reaction to, like: OMG I WANT IT! Because that's how little Joanie is.
Blerp, got distracted. Blargh. Not doing so well with the morning pages today. I seem to be super ADD about all of it. I'm also not sure what I want to do for my artist date this week. I guess I have the rest of the week to think about it. Maybe I'll just treat myself to a movie night or something. Either way, I'm sure I'll think of something given enough time to think about it.
I'm worried about Miss Kim. She's giving up her fishie and her kitty. She says she's alright, but I do worry about her. I couldn't imagine giving up the Duchess or Kusanagi (my fishie). I know why, it's because she doesn't think she's doing a good job taking care of them. I really just wish that she would work a little bit less and play a little bit more. I really like that Isaias and Zach were like "GO HOME" on Friday. That made me feel a lot better about working in this group. They're concerned about my well-being and not just the work that I do. Man, I love Big Fish so much. I really hope I can get Tori hired on. I'm going to look into her application today if I have some time (or tomorrow most likely) and see if I can figure out the status on it. I hate bugging about it, because I know how HR is. Ours is notoriously slow. I really hope they give her a shot, because I know she would do a great job. She's a very kind person and I could see her being a great CSR. Plus, she's practically a part of our culture already, lol. I just really want to help them succeed. I remember how hard things were for me when I first moved up here. I've totally been where they're at before. It can be really discouraging. God, would you do that for them? And give Tori the opportunity to work at Big Fish? Feel free to trade it for something good of mine. I've had a string of good fortune lately, and I would love to see it get spread around.
I guess I should head out soon. Fangamer's retrowear kickstarter is going really well! I'm thinking about buying two hoodies lol. I've put in $125 so far, but I'm thinking about kicking it up to $170 so I can get four shirts and two hoodies. Especially because the next one is PK Love and I freaking love Mother 3. I have no idea what it will look like, but I'm hoping for Sunflowers, Hinawa, or Claus on it. :3 I was hoping they would put out an update this morning, but they will probably have one for this afternoon. I really hope we can make it up to 110K. At this rate, I think we will. It feels like a lot of people are getting four shirts and then just adding on pledges for more things. That's what I'm doing anyway, and it seems to make the most sense. I thought about 450, but I really don't have enough room for that many shirts, lol. I know, like I have room for 4 anyway XD, but they're MOTHER shirts. And two of them are direct cosplay shirts: Ness and Lucas. I hope they make a claus one too, lol. I bet that would take a bit longer to do. They have the pattern, they just need to figure out the colors. Either way, I want Ness and Lucas. I identify with both, although definitely leaning a little more towards Lucas, because I was that kind of kid. I wrote a little bit more here than I thought I would lol, but I do need to go, especially because tonight is DnD night. I really hope that I can get over this cold by the end of the week. I also hope that I'm not making anyone else sick, but I guess that's how colds are. There's not much you can do, and at any rate, this could be a much worse cold. I always think of the Vancouver one and that makes me feel better. At least it's not that bad, I say, and that makes me smile. If I can make it through something like that, I'm golden!
I half want to call in sick though and just take a day off to relax. I'll just have to settle for getting home ASAP and resting in bed. I did a pretty good job yesterday morning. I watched about 6 episodes of Sonic (all three shows) and that was very relaxing. I should do that again sometime. Maybe I'll hang out with little me and watch some Sonic the Anime lol. I love that movie. It never gets old for some reason.
Anyway, time to get to work, but I'm glad that I sat down to write this. I really want to work on my RPG this week, so we'll see how that goes. I'm going to at least take my lappy with me. I think. Anyway! Bye! Mew, mew, mew! Meep!
And I also went on my Artist Date on Friday. I went to the Dollar Tree near Grocery Outlet and Petsmart. I bought: an inflatable dinosaur (diplodocus), a crystal growing kit, a sheet of beach stickers, one of those wooden peg solitaire games that I love from Cracker Barrel (EG-NAH-RAY-MOOSE!), and an adorable crow with black feather accents (he was in the Halloween section, hahaha!). Overall I had a lot of fun, and I basically let little Joanie go crazy. I tried to get things that I had an immediate reaction to, like: OMG I WANT IT! Because that's how little Joanie is.
Blerp, got distracted. Blargh. Not doing so well with the morning pages today. I seem to be super ADD about all of it. I'm also not sure what I want to do for my artist date this week. I guess I have the rest of the week to think about it. Maybe I'll just treat myself to a movie night or something. Either way, I'm sure I'll think of something given enough time to think about it.
I'm worried about Miss Kim. She's giving up her fishie and her kitty. She says she's alright, but I do worry about her. I couldn't imagine giving up the Duchess or Kusanagi (my fishie). I know why, it's because she doesn't think she's doing a good job taking care of them. I really just wish that she would work a little bit less and play a little bit more. I really like that Isaias and Zach were like "GO HOME" on Friday. That made me feel a lot better about working in this group. They're concerned about my well-being and not just the work that I do. Man, I love Big Fish so much. I really hope I can get Tori hired on. I'm going to look into her application today if I have some time (or tomorrow most likely) and see if I can figure out the status on it. I hate bugging about it, because I know how HR is. Ours is notoriously slow. I really hope they give her a shot, because I know she would do a great job. She's a very kind person and I could see her being a great CSR. Plus, she's practically a part of our culture already, lol. I just really want to help them succeed. I remember how hard things were for me when I first moved up here. I've totally been where they're at before. It can be really discouraging. God, would you do that for them? And give Tori the opportunity to work at Big Fish? Feel free to trade it for something good of mine. I've had a string of good fortune lately, and I would love to see it get spread around.
I guess I should head out soon. Fangamer's retrowear kickstarter is going really well! I'm thinking about buying two hoodies lol. I've put in $125 so far, but I'm thinking about kicking it up to $170 so I can get four shirts and two hoodies. Especially because the next one is PK Love and I freaking love Mother 3. I have no idea what it will look like, but I'm hoping for Sunflowers, Hinawa, or Claus on it. :3 I was hoping they would put out an update this morning, but they will probably have one for this afternoon. I really hope we can make it up to 110K. At this rate, I think we will. It feels like a lot of people are getting four shirts and then just adding on pledges for more things. That's what I'm doing anyway, and it seems to make the most sense. I thought about 450, but I really don't have enough room for that many shirts, lol. I know, like I have room for 4 anyway XD, but they're MOTHER shirts. And two of them are direct cosplay shirts: Ness and Lucas. I hope they make a claus one too, lol. I bet that would take a bit longer to do. They have the pattern, they just need to figure out the colors. Either way, I want Ness and Lucas. I identify with both, although definitely leaning a little more towards Lucas, because I was that kind of kid. I wrote a little bit more here than I thought I would lol, but I do need to go, especially because tonight is DnD night. I really hope that I can get over this cold by the end of the week. I also hope that I'm not making anyone else sick, but I guess that's how colds are. There's not much you can do, and at any rate, this could be a much worse cold. I always think of the Vancouver one and that makes me feel better. At least it's not that bad, I say, and that makes me smile. If I can make it through something like that, I'm golden!
I half want to call in sick though and just take a day off to relax. I'll just have to settle for getting home ASAP and resting in bed. I did a pretty good job yesterday morning. I watched about 6 episodes of Sonic (all three shows) and that was very relaxing. I should do that again sometime. Maybe I'll hang out with little me and watch some Sonic the Anime lol. I love that movie. It never gets old for some reason.
Anyway, time to get to work, but I'm glad that I sat down to write this. I really want to work on my RPG this week, so we'll see how that goes. I'm going to at least take my lappy with me. I think. Anyway! Bye! Mew, mew, mew! Meep!
Friday, September 7, 2012
hacking up and looking down
But otherwise feeling good! Hahaha! I think I've curbed this sickness in a record 3 days. I'm getting a lot better at getting over colds (surprisingly, given my history). Today it's amalgamated (sp?) in my throat and I took a Mucinex to try and hack it out. Hopefully no one will be like JOANIE FOR GOODNESS SAKES GO HOME! Not that I would be too disappointed if they did, but it's just hard for me to miss work even when I am sick. For that matter, I think everyone else might have already gotten sick if they weren't already. :I Bad excuse, I know, especially since we (the Producers) ate lunch together yesterday, including appetizers, and I didn't have a fork so I finger-fooded it. Yes, that is now a verb. Because. So there.
Anyway, I did really well on the Spirits of Mystery game. I really enjoyed giving the animals and the Princess some personality. I had fun writing the journals for Isa too. I like him, he's a pretty cool evil character, even if he is a bit one-dimensional bwahaha. Some of my favorite villains are like that. *COUGH* ROBOTNIK*COUGH* Excuse me...
Omg, also, Dan is so cute. He sits sort of near me now since I moved. Today I'm bringing him some Sonic and Nights pins from PAX. I kind of want to give him my extra lanyard, but... omg what if something happens to my other one, lol. I'm such a fangirl. I'm particularly proud of the sonic pins since you have to score time under 4:30 to get them and they only had 1000 or so to hand out. A lot, but still. Not everyone got one, and I managed to do it twice because I am awesome. :I I also kick ass at racing games. THANK YOU JENNY! :D Anyway, I'm feeling a little awkward because this is the first guy I've been genuinely interested in and I'm not sure if he's interested back. He's so nice, and he worked for SEGA and his first question to me was what's my favorite Sonic game. I know, right?! No one ever asks me that. I know I'm a super crazy SEGA fangirl, but we have a lot of other stuff in common too, like a love for books (popular fiction!), arcades, and classic games. I'm just nervous because I don't know if I would be stepping on toes if I asked him out instead of me asking him out. I'm getting conflicting advice from everyone. I know I'm as impatient as Sonic, but I'm 29 - I feel like I'm running out of time to find a guy! Anyway, I know that's not the case, but it's just so hard when I finally find someone that I like. I'm always afraid that my Sonic-ness will scare away any potential boyfriends, especially because it's pretty obvious I do have a crush on Sonic. But still, I don't want anyone to have to compete with that, they just have to at least like him enough to tolerate me gushing about him whenever a new game comes out, lol. It's my favorite thing, so I can't help it. He's a part of who I am. Plus, there's more to me than just that, so I'm hoping my guy will see that. It's hard though. I feel like I've failed in a lot of ways in the dating department.
Speaking of which, I have another date tomorrow with a guy I met on OKCupid. At first I was excited, but now with Dan in the picture I feel weird about it. I know I shouldn't put all of my eggs in one basket, but still... Anyway, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. I'm going to give Patrick (that's his name, I think) a shot tomorrow at Gameworks. So long as I'm feeling better anyway. I think as long as I sleep in and rest I should be fine. The good news is that I won't need a ride home because I can catch a bus. I'm also somewhat concerned that he hasn't checked back in to be like, "Hey, we're still meeting up tomorrow, right?" Although I guess it could be that he's nervous too. I dunno. Dating is such a tricky thing, but I guess I don't have to feel like I have to choose permanently. I'm just dating. I have to keep that in mind. It's hard for me because I'm a Taurus and I like having some stability in my relationships. I'm a very committed person. I mean look at how long I lasted with April. Speaking of her, we're working on that in my therapist's office. Not too much has come up about her this week, but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about her on some level. I guess in some ways I do from time to time. Either way, I'm not leaving Pamela's until I get to the point where I can think on April and not be scared out of my mind that she's going to come seeking vengeance or something like that.
Next weekend is board game night and the half-price book store warehouse sale! I'm going to invite Dan to come with us today, so wish me luck on that. I really hope that he will do both, although I'm certain he will at least to the sale since he loves used books. I mean, who could resist something like that?! I certainly can't! Especially the $20 tote bag for all the books you can fit in it. We're going on Saturday, but still! :D
I feel like I'm losing steam on this one, so I guess I'll wrap it up pretty quick. Thankfully I don't have to go in early to exercise since the gym is closed. (They're painting it today.) So I can take a little bit longer to sit down and work on this. I would have had more time if I hadn't have taken a shower, but trust me, I needed one!
I'm feeling really good at my new job. Finances will be a little tight until my first paycheck, but once I hit the 20th, I'll be solid gold baby! :D I even updated my Fangamer pledge. I just had to get the Starman hoodie - or the other secret one that could be coming out soon. I'm really excited for Shirtness too. I hope we can unlock that, since I'd really like a ladies size.
I want to work more on my game, but this week has been so crazy. I want to start working on it tomorrow. I also have to plan out my artist date. I think I might have to do it tonight. It is Friday, after all, so why not? I'll try to pop into the dollar store tonight and snag a couple of items! It will be super fun. <3
Anyway, I should get going, and hopefully I will have another good day. Yesterday was pretty awesome, especially cause I got a compliment on my story work for Chimeras!!! :D YAY! Good things are ahead.
Anyway, I did really well on the Spirits of Mystery game. I really enjoyed giving the animals and the Princess some personality. I had fun writing the journals for Isa too. I like him, he's a pretty cool evil character, even if he is a bit one-dimensional bwahaha. Some of my favorite villains are like that. *COUGH* ROBOTNIK*COUGH* Excuse me...
Omg, also, Dan is so cute. He sits sort of near me now since I moved. Today I'm bringing him some Sonic and Nights pins from PAX. I kind of want to give him my extra lanyard, but... omg what if something happens to my other one, lol. I'm such a fangirl. I'm particularly proud of the sonic pins since you have to score time under 4:30 to get them and they only had 1000 or so to hand out. A lot, but still. Not everyone got one, and I managed to do it twice because I am awesome. :I I also kick ass at racing games. THANK YOU JENNY! :D Anyway, I'm feeling a little awkward because this is the first guy I've been genuinely interested in and I'm not sure if he's interested back. He's so nice, and he worked for SEGA and his first question to me was what's my favorite Sonic game. I know, right?! No one ever asks me that. I know I'm a super crazy SEGA fangirl, but we have a lot of other stuff in common too, like a love for books (popular fiction!), arcades, and classic games. I'm just nervous because I don't know if I would be stepping on toes if I asked him out instead of me asking him out. I'm getting conflicting advice from everyone. I know I'm as impatient as Sonic, but I'm 29 - I feel like I'm running out of time to find a guy! Anyway, I know that's not the case, but it's just so hard when I finally find someone that I like. I'm always afraid that my Sonic-ness will scare away any potential boyfriends, especially because it's pretty obvious I do have a crush on Sonic. But still, I don't want anyone to have to compete with that, they just have to at least like him enough to tolerate me gushing about him whenever a new game comes out, lol. It's my favorite thing, so I can't help it. He's a part of who I am. Plus, there's more to me than just that, so I'm hoping my guy will see that. It's hard though. I feel like I've failed in a lot of ways in the dating department.
Speaking of which, I have another date tomorrow with a guy I met on OKCupid. At first I was excited, but now with Dan in the picture I feel weird about it. I know I shouldn't put all of my eggs in one basket, but still... Anyway, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. I'm going to give Patrick (that's his name, I think) a shot tomorrow at Gameworks. So long as I'm feeling better anyway. I think as long as I sleep in and rest I should be fine. The good news is that I won't need a ride home because I can catch a bus. I'm also somewhat concerned that he hasn't checked back in to be like, "Hey, we're still meeting up tomorrow, right?" Although I guess it could be that he's nervous too. I dunno. Dating is such a tricky thing, but I guess I don't have to feel like I have to choose permanently. I'm just dating. I have to keep that in mind. It's hard for me because I'm a Taurus and I like having some stability in my relationships. I'm a very committed person. I mean look at how long I lasted with April. Speaking of her, we're working on that in my therapist's office. Not too much has come up about her this week, but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about her on some level. I guess in some ways I do from time to time. Either way, I'm not leaving Pamela's until I get to the point where I can think on April and not be scared out of my mind that she's going to come seeking vengeance or something like that.
Next weekend is board game night and the half-price book store warehouse sale! I'm going to invite Dan to come with us today, so wish me luck on that. I really hope that he will do both, although I'm certain he will at least to the sale since he loves used books. I mean, who could resist something like that?! I certainly can't! Especially the $20 tote bag for all the books you can fit in it. We're going on Saturday, but still! :D
I feel like I'm losing steam on this one, so I guess I'll wrap it up pretty quick. Thankfully I don't have to go in early to exercise since the gym is closed. (They're painting it today.) So I can take a little bit longer to sit down and work on this. I would have had more time if I hadn't have taken a shower, but trust me, I needed one!
I'm feeling really good at my new job. Finances will be a little tight until my first paycheck, but once I hit the 20th, I'll be solid gold baby! :D I even updated my Fangamer pledge. I just had to get the Starman hoodie - or the other secret one that could be coming out soon. I'm really excited for Shirtness too. I hope we can unlock that, since I'd really like a ladies size.
I want to work more on my game, but this week has been so crazy. I want to start working on it tomorrow. I also have to plan out my artist date. I think I might have to do it tonight. It is Friday, after all, so why not? I'll try to pop into the dollar store tonight and snag a couple of items! It will be super fun. <3
Anyway, I should get going, and hopefully I will have another good day. Yesterday was pretty awesome, especially cause I got a compliment on my story work for Chimeras!!! :D YAY! Good things are ahead.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
nuuu keep the sickness away!
So apparently, I'm sick. Blech. I've got that scratchiness in my throat that makes me want to cough (and drink everything I can get my hands on), wanting to blow my nose but nothing comes out, feeling achy and lethargic and that overwhelming feeling of OH SHIT. I'm sick. :I I hate that moment, it's definitely a face-palm moment that I think most people can relate to. How did I get it? Meh, I dunno, probably PAX and it just incubated for a few days. I could have gotten it from anywhere though, that's the trouble as it's hard to track this stuff down properly. At any rate, I'm hoping I can make it to the weekend. What day is it? Thursday. Yeah, I should be good for another couple of days. I'll probably take some DayQuil before I go. As long as I can nip this early I'll be good. It's funny, because I haven't been really sick for a long while. I'm getting a lot better about taking good care of myself. Are you supposed to exercise when you're sick? Just a sec, I'm going to look that up real quick...
Why did I do that? Lol. I always get so distracted online, blah, blah, blah. I found out a lot of stuff that I didn't really want to know, including all of the hemorroidial junk. Blech. Anyway, it says as long as I'm not running a fever I'm okay to exercise. I just have to scale it back a bit. I think I might do that. Anyway, I will have to get going soon, but I wanted to at least write a little bit in here. I really hope my sickness doesn't bother me the rest of the day. Especially because I have an important / fun project to finish at work and I have this "welcome to the group" lunch party with everyone in Producerland today.*yawn*
I had a really bad nightmare again last night. I'm having trouble remembering it, but it woke me up at 4am. I hate when that happens. It makes it really hard to get up again. Why is it whenever you wake up you're more awake and then just as you're going back to sleep and resting, the alarm goes off and then you don't want to get up? I haven't figured that out. I sort of remember now. I was trying to complete some kind of race or course. Flying or running? I'm not sure. But I woke up just as I was doing a perfect lap, hahaha. That figures, doesn't it?
I'm glad that I'm at least trying to write in here every morning. It does feel good to vent a little and keep going. I would probably have more success if I didn't check my email first or get lost in the internets, as one is prone to do. Oh the internets!
I'm wondering if doing this will help me to finish my Sonic Underground story. I got another couple of followers, so I know that people are enjoying it. I'm just nervous about writing it wrong, which I know sounds odd, but I guess it's a fan fiction writer thing. I want to meet fans' expectations of how they think the episode will play out. I also have that awesome chapter with Aleena and Manic that I want to share. It's probably the best part that I've written so far.
I'm a bit stuck with Knux and Sonia. I've got to get him out of that restraint, but I'm not sure how, lol. Sonia's medallion is drained, so I'm thinking maybe they will have to fight some SWATbots (laser cutting through it) or find some kind of dangerous heavy machinery to help them do it. Ooh, I kind of like the latter, and they are in Robotropolis, so the stupid place is covered with that shit. Robotnik's never been one to put safety tape and warning sirens around his trapdoors, if you catch my vague Mitchell and Webb Look reference, hahaha. I have to get them to meet back up with Sonic - although he's gone to the floating island. However, Robotnik will be pulling it towards himself very soon, so I think that will work itself out. Sonia and Knux at least have to meet back up with the other FF groups and find out what's going on. Manic's chapter will be after that, and he's being used as bait to draw the other royal siblings out of hiding. Aleena wrecked his main roboticizer, and Sonic's group nearly took out the Industrial (aka fast food drive through, recording breaking 12 new robot slaves a minute) Roboticizer, but he always has a ton of those lying around, so he's probably either going to repair the one that Aleena busted or just place a public one out in the square. Probably that, since this particular Buttnik has a flair for the dramatic. Plus I get a good GID scene, and you know how much I love those. This much. :I heheheehehehehehe *cough hack cough* I swear I'm crazy, but it's all good. No worries though, because the sibs totally have to get back together to kick his ass. And they have Knux, so all's the better. Plus they have to eat Aleena's cookies while they're still warm!!!! OMG if they don't the world will END! THINK OF THE COOKIES, MANIC! THE COOKIES!!!! :I
Blargh, I'm so far behind today. I'm only half dressed and I'm definitely not meeting this quota at all for the page length, but I guess so long as I'm doing and writing something every morning it is worth it. I totally want to do the dollar store thing this week for my artist date. It sounds like a ton of fun. I'm just not sure when and how I can do it. There are a ton of dollar store things near me, but I would need a car, and Marcie has the car. Meow. I guess I could go after she gets home from work. That would probably work. I just have to check and see when the Dollar Trees close.Oh sweet, they're open until 9. That's awesome then. I can go whenever Marcie is home. I won't tell her where I'm going, bwhahaha. That's the hard thing since we live together, it makes it hard to do things by ourselves, especially because we have one car. That and Marcie tends to mom me up and asks me when will you be home, blah blah blah.Thanks mom. :I I know she means well, but it's a little annoying. I'm 29. I can take care of myself, lol. I've done so for awhile now. I don't get why she is so insistent about me getting home by a certain time. I can't control that. The buses are always late and sometimes I have to stay a bit late to get work done. It takes me 2 hours to get home for crying out loud. That's not my fault. Anyway, sorry for the outburst mister blog thingy. LOL. :I I've gone over the edge. Can I blame it on the sickness? I suppose so. You know what I would really like today? I would like to visit the Ouran Host Club and get pampered by Tamaki-sama! :D YAY. That sounds awesome. :I I have to admit I'm definitely into his prince-ly type, although all of the boys have their charm. I'm definitely into the Mori/Honey, cause it reminds me so much of Sonic and Tails lol. They're different, but it's still that big brother protecting the little brother. Cuddles for the win! <3 <3 <3 omg. waiiiigh! Do I have to go to work? I guess so. Bleh, but that's okay. Off I go to do things and hopefully my cold will not slow me down too much!!! :D
Why did I do that? Lol. I always get so distracted online, blah, blah, blah. I found out a lot of stuff that I didn't really want to know, including all of the hemorroidial junk. Blech. Anyway, it says as long as I'm not running a fever I'm okay to exercise. I just have to scale it back a bit. I think I might do that. Anyway, I will have to get going soon, but I wanted to at least write a little bit in here. I really hope my sickness doesn't bother me the rest of the day. Especially because I have an important / fun project to finish at work and I have this "welcome to the group" lunch party with everyone in Producerland today.*yawn*
I had a really bad nightmare again last night. I'm having trouble remembering it, but it woke me up at 4am. I hate when that happens. It makes it really hard to get up again. Why is it whenever you wake up you're more awake and then just as you're going back to sleep and resting, the alarm goes off and then you don't want to get up? I haven't figured that out. I sort of remember now. I was trying to complete some kind of race or course. Flying or running? I'm not sure. But I woke up just as I was doing a perfect lap, hahaha. That figures, doesn't it?
I'm glad that I'm at least trying to write in here every morning. It does feel good to vent a little and keep going. I would probably have more success if I didn't check my email first or get lost in the internets, as one is prone to do. Oh the internets!
I'm wondering if doing this will help me to finish my Sonic Underground story. I got another couple of followers, so I know that people are enjoying it. I'm just nervous about writing it wrong, which I know sounds odd, but I guess it's a fan fiction writer thing. I want to meet fans' expectations of how they think the episode will play out. I also have that awesome chapter with Aleena and Manic that I want to share. It's probably the best part that I've written so far.
I'm a bit stuck with Knux and Sonia. I've got to get him out of that restraint, but I'm not sure how, lol. Sonia's medallion is drained, so I'm thinking maybe they will have to fight some SWATbots (laser cutting through it) or find some kind of dangerous heavy machinery to help them do it. Ooh, I kind of like the latter, and they are in Robotropolis, so the stupid place is covered with that shit. Robotnik's never been one to put safety tape and warning sirens around his trapdoors, if you catch my vague Mitchell and Webb Look reference, hahaha. I have to get them to meet back up with Sonic - although he's gone to the floating island. However, Robotnik will be pulling it towards himself very soon, so I think that will work itself out. Sonia and Knux at least have to meet back up with the other FF groups and find out what's going on. Manic's chapter will be after that, and he's being used as bait to draw the other royal siblings out of hiding. Aleena wrecked his main roboticizer, and Sonic's group nearly took out the Industrial (aka fast food drive through, recording breaking 12 new robot slaves a minute) Roboticizer, but he always has a ton of those lying around, so he's probably either going to repair the one that Aleena busted or just place a public one out in the square. Probably that, since this particular Buttnik has a flair for the dramatic. Plus I get a good GID scene, and you know how much I love those. This much. :I heheheehehehehehe *cough hack cough* I swear I'm crazy, but it's all good. No worries though, because the sibs totally have to get back together to kick his ass. And they have Knux, so all's the better. Plus they have to eat Aleena's cookies while they're still warm!!!! OMG if they don't the world will END! THINK OF THE COOKIES, MANIC! THE COOKIES!!!! :I
Blargh, I'm so far behind today. I'm only half dressed and I'm definitely not meeting this quota at all for the page length, but I guess so long as I'm doing and writing something every morning it is worth it. I totally want to do the dollar store thing this week for my artist date. It sounds like a ton of fun. I'm just not sure when and how I can do it. There are a ton of dollar store things near me, but I would need a car, and Marcie has the car. Meow. I guess I could go after she gets home from work. That would probably work. I just have to check and see when the Dollar Trees close.Oh sweet, they're open until 9. That's awesome then. I can go whenever Marcie is home. I won't tell her where I'm going, bwhahaha. That's the hard thing since we live together, it makes it hard to do things by ourselves, especially because we have one car. That and Marcie tends to mom me up and asks me when will you be home, blah blah blah.Thanks mom. :I I know she means well, but it's a little annoying. I'm 29. I can take care of myself, lol. I've done so for awhile now. I don't get why she is so insistent about me getting home by a certain time. I can't control that. The buses are always late and sometimes I have to stay a bit late to get work done. It takes me 2 hours to get home for crying out loud. That's not my fault. Anyway, sorry for the outburst mister blog thingy. LOL. :I I've gone over the edge. Can I blame it on the sickness? I suppose so. You know what I would really like today? I would like to visit the Ouran Host Club and get pampered by Tamaki-sama! :D YAY. That sounds awesome. :I I have to admit I'm definitely into his prince-ly type, although all of the boys have their charm. I'm definitely into the Mori/Honey, cause it reminds me so much of Sonic and Tails lol. They're different, but it's still that big brother protecting the little brother. Cuddles for the win! <3 <3 <3 omg. waiiiigh! Do I have to go to work? I guess so. Bleh, but that's okay. Off I go to do things and hopefully my cold will not slow me down too much!!! :D
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
quickie or nothing!
Blargh, had to renew my tabs this morning, so that ate up a bunch of my writing time. Not to mention that most times I'm easily distracted anyway! Stupid internet. Anyways... back to whatever. I have to rush this one, and, while I hate rushing things, I want to make sure that A.) I'm taking this seriously and B.) I can make this a habit. In order to do that, I basically have to just keep trying. I've been pretty successful so far with my fitness stuff, and it's starting to become routine, so I'm hoping that this will continue to be routine as well. I did really well yesterday with it, but today is meh. Also, my keyboard is really loud. I hate that. I should probably get a more silent one. It's not like I use all the stupid bells and whistles on it anyway. I tried the gel keyboard, and while it is quieter, it's also hard to hit the keys and it turned out to be a lot more frustrating than it is. Partially this might be because I bought the cheap version of it. That should teach me a lesson.
I had a weird dream that was SAT-AM based. Sonic and Sally were in this weird factory and apparently Buttnik was drilling for oil but kept hitting the "magma core" of the planet, causing lava to rise up and basically destroy everything. After waking, I was like, What the fuck! That doesn't even make sense. Why would he purposefully drill into magma knowing it would ruin his machines. Either way, Sonic and Sally were trapped by lava and there was a bit of water, but it was just turning it into steaming lava. I have no idea what they were doing deep down in there anyway, but it's hard to tell with me. It's been a very long time since I last had a dream about that universe. Feels like centuries. It was also odd that April wasn't anywhere to be found. I'm expecting her to pop up because I've been working on her with my therapist. Funny enough, that's the last mental thing that's "wrong" with me. Once I'm clear of it, I'll be all done. It's good in a way because I could use the extra money, and bad because I will miss Pamela. But I know it's a great thing to finish therapy and be back to normal again. Pamela said I'm in a much better place than I have been, and I have to agree. It's been a long while since I've had this many good things going for me. Not to mention the new job that's actually a writing job.
Speaking of which, I had to go and update my Linked-In to reflect that. I meant to do it over the weekend, but things got really busy with PAX. It's all done now, so I'm very happy about that.
Yesterday went very well in my job. I started training with Lisa and I'm really confident that A.) this job is exactly what I needed and wanted, and B.) I'm going to do very well and end up improving my own work as a result. I'm also excited that we'll soon be able to put our own names in the credits for the third-party games. It makes sense. A lot of the reason these games are good is because we're a part of the production team for them. We spent tons of time on them, and it definitely matters for writers to be able to have your name in the credits, as it's your only way of "proving" that you worked on something. That was definitely a selling point for me when I took this job.
Also, at PAX I was super excited when James from Extra Credits said game writing is Narrative Design, and now I'm beginning to see that I'm on the right path if I want to go on to other things. I can work on my craft here, perfect it and maybe eventually move on to a AAA studio - like SEGA! YES! WOOO! That would be the best thing ever. Me being a narrative designer on a Sonic game. Can you imagine? ME?! OOOH-HO-HO-HO! Pardon the sudden Dr. Warpnik there, I have trouble reigning him in sometimes... most times... lol. FISH! *SLAP* Anyway, I like that I can pretty much write whatever I want in here. It's very freeing to not have to worry about anything and I can just write and write and write and write and write! WOOOOO! Sonic is teh zaw-some-sorz! Yeah, can you tell I'm in a good mood? Because I certainly can, hahaha!
I really want to write some more, but I also really have to go. I want to keep my fitness committment and tomorrow I should be able to write more since I won't have another stupid bill thing to do in the morning. Anyway I should go because it's 7 and I want to catch the earliest bus I can into work. I'm just glad that Lisa is pretty flexible with my time, hooray! Anyway, my only concern is that I'll be tired again. I haven't been sleeping too well, and I'm not sure why. I think it's mainly my bed situation. I need a new pillow for my poor little head. I'm thinking about getting a memory foam one, as that seems like what I need. I need more support and my one pillow is basically a flat sack of feathers, hahaha!
Anyway, good-bye to all or me, I'm not sure which, and I will be back more to write tomorrow. Huzzah! FREEDOM FIGHTERS FOREVER! Watch out for snakes! Also, LAVA! HAHAHA! :3
I'm proud of myself for not glomping Sonic and dragging him off somewhere, as much as I'd like to <3 I can't help it, he's hot <3 <3 <3 <3 Anyway! Bye. lol.
I had a weird dream that was SAT-AM based. Sonic and Sally were in this weird factory and apparently Buttnik was drilling for oil but kept hitting the "magma core" of the planet, causing lava to rise up and basically destroy everything. After waking, I was like, What the fuck! That doesn't even make sense. Why would he purposefully drill into magma knowing it would ruin his machines. Either way, Sonic and Sally were trapped by lava and there was a bit of water, but it was just turning it into steaming lava. I have no idea what they were doing deep down in there anyway, but it's hard to tell with me. It's been a very long time since I last had a dream about that universe. Feels like centuries. It was also odd that April wasn't anywhere to be found. I'm expecting her to pop up because I've been working on her with my therapist. Funny enough, that's the last mental thing that's "wrong" with me. Once I'm clear of it, I'll be all done. It's good in a way because I could use the extra money, and bad because I will miss Pamela. But I know it's a great thing to finish therapy and be back to normal again. Pamela said I'm in a much better place than I have been, and I have to agree. It's been a long while since I've had this many good things going for me. Not to mention the new job that's actually a writing job.
Speaking of which, I had to go and update my Linked-In to reflect that. I meant to do it over the weekend, but things got really busy with PAX. It's all done now, so I'm very happy about that.
Yesterday went very well in my job. I started training with Lisa and I'm really confident that A.) this job is exactly what I needed and wanted, and B.) I'm going to do very well and end up improving my own work as a result. I'm also excited that we'll soon be able to put our own names in the credits for the third-party games. It makes sense. A lot of the reason these games are good is because we're a part of the production team for them. We spent tons of time on them, and it definitely matters for writers to be able to have your name in the credits, as it's your only way of "proving" that you worked on something. That was definitely a selling point for me when I took this job.
Also, at PAX I was super excited when James from Extra Credits said game writing is Narrative Design, and now I'm beginning to see that I'm on the right path if I want to go on to other things. I can work on my craft here, perfect it and maybe eventually move on to a AAA studio - like SEGA! YES! WOOO! That would be the best thing ever. Me being a narrative designer on a Sonic game. Can you imagine? ME?! OOOH-HO-HO-HO! Pardon the sudden Dr. Warpnik there, I have trouble reigning him in sometimes... most times... lol. FISH! *SLAP* Anyway, I like that I can pretty much write whatever I want in here. It's very freeing to not have to worry about anything and I can just write and write and write and write and write! WOOOOO! Sonic is teh zaw-some-sorz! Yeah, can you tell I'm in a good mood? Because I certainly can, hahaha!
I really want to write some more, but I also really have to go. I want to keep my fitness committment and tomorrow I should be able to write more since I won't have another stupid bill thing to do in the morning. Anyway I should go because it's 7 and I want to catch the earliest bus I can into work. I'm just glad that Lisa is pretty flexible with my time, hooray! Anyway, my only concern is that I'll be tired again. I haven't been sleeping too well, and I'm not sure why. I think it's mainly my bed situation. I need a new pillow for my poor little head. I'm thinking about getting a memory foam one, as that seems like what I need. I need more support and my one pillow is basically a flat sack of feathers, hahaha!
Anyway, good-bye to all or me, I'm not sure which, and I will be back more to write tomorrow. Huzzah! FREEDOM FIGHTERS FOREVER! Watch out for snakes! Also, LAVA! HAHAHA! :3
I'm proud of myself for not glomping Sonic and dragging him off somewhere, as much as I'd like to <3 I can't help it, he's hot <3 <3 <3 <3 Anyway! Bye. lol.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Murphy's Lawlessness wooo
Okay, so I've committed myself to doing these morning pages. I started off last week (okay a couple of weeks ago) doing one but then I convinced myself that it was too hard and too busy to take in on every morning. Blargh my spelling is horrid. Anyway, so this week, even if I don't make three pages a day, I want to at least try to write in here everyday. Thankfully it's okay to write whatever the heck I want in here. I could even write nonsense if I want, but I won't. I think I have more creativity than just slamming my face against the keyboard and rolling it around a bunch. That and it would wake up Marcie more than I already do since I'm sitting here typing and everything at like 5:50 am. I would have started this earlier, but I distracted myself with Gmail and ended up (somehow) checking on Professor Layton's twitter and then to Don Paolo and then to this "Kingdom of Loathing" game site, which, consequently, one of our neighbors has a bumper sticker for. For the longest time I wondered what it meant. "Knobgoblins fear my Moxie." Well, now I do know. Moxie is like charisma in DnD and Knobgoblins are one of the enemies in the game. They all have funky names like the enemies in Earthbound.
Anyway this weekend was one of those where I wore myself out, but it was totally worth it and I had a lot of fun. I went to Penny Arcade Expo - PAX Prime 2012 - at the Washington State Trade and Convention Center (and other various hotels). I cosplayed as an injured Jurassic Park staff member using props I got from my deluxe version of Jurassic Park the Game made by TellTale Games, who are pretty much my favorite developer at the moment (next to SEGA of course, since they made Sonic, and well, he's the coolest video game character, so he's pretty hard to top EVER. IMHO, lol. I'm so biased. By the way I saw him at the convention and I didn't glomp him, so I'm proud of myself. Damnit I wanted to though! woo! So hot! <3 lol) Anyway!! *yawn*
I dunno why I'm so tired, other than probably I shouldn't have left the window open and the fan running blowing cold air on my face. I had to use Sonic as a shield! Hahaha, I just buried my face in him and snuggled up. He's such a good snuggle buddy. I really wish I could take him to work with me, lol. I suppose there's not a lot stopping me from doing so, but I feel really guilty about it. I can't help it though, he makes me feel so relaxed and happy and loved. I know that sounds weird, but it's true. I'm just one of those people who loves physical attention. I'm not sure why that is. Nature or Nurture? Could be something else entirely, hahaha. I just love hugs. Sometimes I wish I was in Latin America where everyone is always physically affectionate. Sometimes I just feel so starved for physical attention. I love having Bruna over because she also loves giving hugs. She gives really good ones.
I saw lots of great things at PAX this weekend. I went to three awesome panels. One by the Runaway Guys, featuring one of my favorite YouTube let's players, Timothy Bishop, aka NintendoCapriSun. I actually got to meet him afterwards. He was so flabbergasted by all the people who wanted to talk to him and ask for his autograph. I got him to sign my player card that I got for coming into the panel. He was super shy and part of me thought maybe he thought I was cute and wasn't sure what to say. Lol, I'm such a fangirl! I told him that I was a big fan of his channel, a long-time subscriber and I absolutely loved his videos. Hehehe, he was very flattered. I wish I could have taken some time to talk with him and get to know him, but he was busy (lots of fans) and I was busy (I was meeting Kim for lunch) so I hurried away. His panel by the way was really cool. It was a game show styled after Nick Arcade. They had trivia questions (easy, tricky and brutal), music questions (what game is this from), and Video Game Challenges (either against the audience members or taking a challenge from one of the Runaway Guys). NCS had one of the best ones. The guy had to play Super Punch Out and beat Glass Joe (first enemy) for two rounds - BLINDFOLDED! And you know what? The guy totally did it!! It was so awesome. They had some issues with the games showing up on the screen (they flickered off and on) but that almost added to the suspense because we didn't know what was going on half the time and just had to listen to the guys commentating on it. They played awesome games too, including Sonic the Fighters (YAY!) and Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (30 rings in 30 seconds on Emerald Hill)! Well I'm biased, but there were other good games too: F-Zero, Contra, Super Mario Brothers, Super Mario Brothers 3, Smash TV, etc. I would have made a challenge - get X rupees in X seconds in a Zelda game, lol - probably Link to the Past. And they gave out tons of prizes, including 2 Nintendo 3DS systems!! And they had tons of Fangamer merch, including the awesome pipe and E-mugs and pins and stickers and keychains! I didn't win anything, but it was a hilarious and awesome panel. It was such a pleasure to sit down for a while and laugh!
Next awesome panel was for TellTale's The Walking Dead the Game. They had Gerry, one of the founders there, and then three of the game writers. One of them wrote the movie screenplay, the Book of Eli. They were all really insightful and gave lots of peeks into how they tackled the stories and why. One of the most fascinating things was how they wanted people to be split 50/50 on their decisions in the game. They want every choice to be a hard one. They don't want there to be only one "correct/good/perfect" path. I think that's awesome. They also managed not to spoil anything, so yay! :D I found out one of the head writers was in the TV version of the walking dead (I'll have to look for him next time). Overall, they gave lots of good tips, and I was glad I went. At the end they gave us special posters just for PAX that were individually numbers and I got them all to sign mine in silver sharpie! :D YAY! They had pretty awesome things at their booth this year too. On day 2 I got a severed hand with a barbeque turkey leg inside, so when I was eating it, it was like I was eating a human hand! I scared a lot of people walking around on the show floor like that! :D
The final panel I went to was on Sunday and it was for Extra Credits, one of my favorite online video series. They talk about game design, constructively critique popular games, and want to further games as an art form and foster intelligent discussion about games. I was so glad I got there early because literally a few hundred people showed up. I was second in line! :D I felt so cool and dedicated, hahaha! This was one I didn't want to miss though, I even gave up a chance at getting a sunshroom plushie from PopCap's Plants Vs. Zombies booth so I could get in this panel. It was worth it. They were a pleasure to listen to and answered tons of awesome questions from the audience for almost the whole hour. Then, when they ran out of time, they offered to stay at their booth on the Expo floor so everyone could come and talk to them. I went there later, bought a shirt and got them all to sign it! James was busy answering questions, but I pulled LeeLee and Dan aside and told them personally how much it meant to me that they were making the show and that because of them I was inspired to make my own game. Which is very true. If I hadn't seen EC, I wouldn't have bought RPG Maker and then where would I be? Lol! :D I wish I could have said so to James too, but I'm sure they will pass it on (at least I hope so!)
I think I'm running out of time and I've been writing on this for 40 minutes, so that's probably enough (at least I hope so), but I just wanted to say that today is my first day of my new job as Associate Narrative Designer! I'm very happy, because I've been wanting to move out of Testing for 4 years now, but I'm also very nervous. One of the things Pamela told me was that I deserve a fair pay for putting in 40 hours, and I don't have to feel like I have to prove myself. I've already done that. I just need to do the best I can with the time I'm given. I won't be able to perfect everything, but I can try my best. I really want to do good. Someday I want to work my way up to just Narrative Designer - and maybe someday I can move on to bigger projects. Someday I want to work for SEGA. That would be so awesome. I want to work on a Sonic game and make it shine like the star he is! <3 I also want to finish my own game too. I'm really scared I won't have enough time for all of this, including these morning pages. I really don't want to get burnt out and I am scared of falling back into a deep depression again. At the very least I'm tackling my April issues with Pamela. For that I'm really happy. I want to be able to put my name back on my FF.net. Okay, time to check the page count. Whoa, nearly exactly three! How awesome!
One more thing, I really want to start good habits with this job and one of them is getting to work early so I can go to the gym and not worry about hurrying. Because of that, I need to get going right now. But, I will be back tomorrow! :D
I'm a fabulous writer with lots of talent, and I'm great at polishing stories.
It's okay for me to make mistakes, I'm a young writer and still learning. Learning from your mistakes is the best way to grow. I remember how much Home Run Sonic taught me.
I'm allowed to be a beginner at my new job and to be open to learning from Lisa and Faye. I can ask them any questions. I'm fully theirs now and we are a team. If I ever have a problem, I can openly go to anyone on the team and tell them I need help. If I succeed then we all succeed. It will be hard work, but also satisfying work and I have the right to take breaks and vacation when I need to. That is my right as an employee under Washington State Law. I can continue to eat away from my desk because it is healthy for my mind and body. :) I will do well in my new job. Heck, I've already been doing it for the past couple of months!! :D
Anyway this weekend was one of those where I wore myself out, but it was totally worth it and I had a lot of fun. I went to Penny Arcade Expo - PAX Prime 2012 - at the Washington State Trade and Convention Center (and other various hotels). I cosplayed as an injured Jurassic Park staff member using props I got from my deluxe version of Jurassic Park the Game made by TellTale Games, who are pretty much my favorite developer at the moment (next to SEGA of course, since they made Sonic, and well, he's the coolest video game character, so he's pretty hard to top EVER. IMHO, lol. I'm so biased. By the way I saw him at the convention and I didn't glomp him, so I'm proud of myself. Damnit I wanted to though! woo! So hot! <3 lol) Anyway!! *yawn*
I dunno why I'm so tired, other than probably I shouldn't have left the window open and the fan running blowing cold air on my face. I had to use Sonic as a shield! Hahaha, I just buried my face in him and snuggled up. He's such a good snuggle buddy. I really wish I could take him to work with me, lol. I suppose there's not a lot stopping me from doing so, but I feel really guilty about it. I can't help it though, he makes me feel so relaxed and happy and loved. I know that sounds weird, but it's true. I'm just one of those people who loves physical attention. I'm not sure why that is. Nature or Nurture? Could be something else entirely, hahaha. I just love hugs. Sometimes I wish I was in Latin America where everyone is always physically affectionate. Sometimes I just feel so starved for physical attention. I love having Bruna over because she also loves giving hugs. She gives really good ones.
I saw lots of great things at PAX this weekend. I went to three awesome panels. One by the Runaway Guys, featuring one of my favorite YouTube let's players, Timothy Bishop, aka NintendoCapriSun. I actually got to meet him afterwards. He was so flabbergasted by all the people who wanted to talk to him and ask for his autograph. I got him to sign my player card that I got for coming into the panel. He was super shy and part of me thought maybe he thought I was cute and wasn't sure what to say. Lol, I'm such a fangirl! I told him that I was a big fan of his channel, a long-time subscriber and I absolutely loved his videos. Hehehe, he was very flattered. I wish I could have taken some time to talk with him and get to know him, but he was busy (lots of fans) and I was busy (I was meeting Kim for lunch) so I hurried away. His panel by the way was really cool. It was a game show styled after Nick Arcade. They had trivia questions (easy, tricky and brutal), music questions (what game is this from), and Video Game Challenges (either against the audience members or taking a challenge from one of the Runaway Guys). NCS had one of the best ones. The guy had to play Super Punch Out and beat Glass Joe (first enemy) for two rounds - BLINDFOLDED! And you know what? The guy totally did it!! It was so awesome. They had some issues with the games showing up on the screen (they flickered off and on) but that almost added to the suspense because we didn't know what was going on half the time and just had to listen to the guys commentating on it. They played awesome games too, including Sonic the Fighters (YAY!) and Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (30 rings in 30 seconds on Emerald Hill)! Well I'm biased, but there were other good games too: F-Zero, Contra, Super Mario Brothers, Super Mario Brothers 3, Smash TV, etc. I would have made a challenge - get X rupees in X seconds in a Zelda game, lol - probably Link to the Past. And they gave out tons of prizes, including 2 Nintendo 3DS systems!! And they had tons of Fangamer merch, including the awesome pipe and E-mugs and pins and stickers and keychains! I didn't win anything, but it was a hilarious and awesome panel. It was such a pleasure to sit down for a while and laugh!
Next awesome panel was for TellTale's The Walking Dead the Game. They had Gerry, one of the founders there, and then three of the game writers. One of them wrote the movie screenplay, the Book of Eli. They were all really insightful and gave lots of peeks into how they tackled the stories and why. One of the most fascinating things was how they wanted people to be split 50/50 on their decisions in the game. They want every choice to be a hard one. They don't want there to be only one "correct/good/perfect" path. I think that's awesome. They also managed not to spoil anything, so yay! :D I found out one of the head writers was in the TV version of the walking dead (I'll have to look for him next time). Overall, they gave lots of good tips, and I was glad I went. At the end they gave us special posters just for PAX that were individually numbers and I got them all to sign mine in silver sharpie! :D YAY! They had pretty awesome things at their booth this year too. On day 2 I got a severed hand with a barbeque turkey leg inside, so when I was eating it, it was like I was eating a human hand! I scared a lot of people walking around on the show floor like that! :D
The final panel I went to was on Sunday and it was for Extra Credits, one of my favorite online video series. They talk about game design, constructively critique popular games, and want to further games as an art form and foster intelligent discussion about games. I was so glad I got there early because literally a few hundred people showed up. I was second in line! :D I felt so cool and dedicated, hahaha! This was one I didn't want to miss though, I even gave up a chance at getting a sunshroom plushie from PopCap's Plants Vs. Zombies booth so I could get in this panel. It was worth it. They were a pleasure to listen to and answered tons of awesome questions from the audience for almost the whole hour. Then, when they ran out of time, they offered to stay at their booth on the Expo floor so everyone could come and talk to them. I went there later, bought a shirt and got them all to sign it! James was busy answering questions, but I pulled LeeLee and Dan aside and told them personally how much it meant to me that they were making the show and that because of them I was inspired to make my own game. Which is very true. If I hadn't seen EC, I wouldn't have bought RPG Maker and then where would I be? Lol! :D I wish I could have said so to James too, but I'm sure they will pass it on (at least I hope so!)
I think I'm running out of time and I've been writing on this for 40 minutes, so that's probably enough (at least I hope so), but I just wanted to say that today is my first day of my new job as Associate Narrative Designer! I'm very happy, because I've been wanting to move out of Testing for 4 years now, but I'm also very nervous. One of the things Pamela told me was that I deserve a fair pay for putting in 40 hours, and I don't have to feel like I have to prove myself. I've already done that. I just need to do the best I can with the time I'm given. I won't be able to perfect everything, but I can try my best. I really want to do good. Someday I want to work my way up to just Narrative Designer - and maybe someday I can move on to bigger projects. Someday I want to work for SEGA. That would be so awesome. I want to work on a Sonic game and make it shine like the star he is! <3 I also want to finish my own game too. I'm really scared I won't have enough time for all of this, including these morning pages. I really don't want to get burnt out and I am scared of falling back into a deep depression again. At the very least I'm tackling my April issues with Pamela. For that I'm really happy. I want to be able to put my name back on my FF.net. Okay, time to check the page count. Whoa, nearly exactly three! How awesome!
One more thing, I really want to start good habits with this job and one of them is getting to work early so I can go to the gym and not worry about hurrying. Because of that, I need to get going right now. But, I will be back tomorrow! :D
I'm a fabulous writer with lots of talent, and I'm great at polishing stories.
It's okay for me to make mistakes, I'm a young writer and still learning. Learning from your mistakes is the best way to grow. I remember how much Home Run Sonic taught me.
I'm allowed to be a beginner at my new job and to be open to learning from Lisa and Faye. I can ask them any questions. I'm fully theirs now and we are a team. If I ever have a problem, I can openly go to anyone on the team and tell them I need help. If I succeed then we all succeed. It will be hard work, but also satisfying work and I have the right to take breaks and vacation when I need to. That is my right as an employee under Washington State Law. I can continue to eat away from my desk because it is healthy for my mind and body. :) I will do well in my new job. Heck, I've already been doing it for the past couple of months!! :D
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